Saturday, December 22, 2012

My Chastity tip for teens

Towards the end of Spring I was teaching one of my Religious Education classes about sexuality and the question that came up often was "How far is too far?" There are a couple of ways to approach the question. One way would be give specific examples and yes, that would require going into some detail (trying to creep around the question with a vague non-descript response will not satisfy the student; they will appreciate your honesty and frankness), but you also don't want to be there running off a litany of "acts". The second way - and this is my preferred way - would be to engage the student's imagination and conscience.

I begin by asking the class to picture the man or woman of their dreams and to think about the qualities they have and to note these things on a bit of paper. Between the boys and the girls, they have a pretty good idea of who their ideal man or woman is and what qualities or characteristics they should possess. After doing this for a number of years in class the most common responses are:

From the boys (the woman of their dreams)
- attractive (knowing full well that beauty is in the eye of the beholder)
- funny
- smart
- loyal
- honest
- faithful
- good communicator
- affectionate
- understanding

From the girls (the man of their dreams)
- attractive
- funny
- smart
- loyal
- honest
- faithful
- good listener
- sweet/romantic
- not afraid to speak about how he's feeling

Teenagers these days aren't as superficial as we think. Deep down, after they've thought about it for a little while, they know what they want is something that you can't measure or quantify.

Next I ask the students to think about their best friend (of the same sex) and to hold that thought for a moment. I then ask them to think about the man or woman of their dreams again and to think about their appearance and their qualities. After that, after getting my class to think about the man/woman of their dreams and their best friend, I ask them to imagine now that their best friend is kissing the man/woman of their dreams.

... The reaction is priceless!

Despite it being an imaginary and hypothetical situation, the amount of times I see girls turning to their friend in the classroom or boys turning to each other in shock and saying either, "You wouldn't dare!" or "How could you?" never ceases to amaze me, and all we're talking about is a kiss! I usually follow up by asking my students by thinking about the reaction they may have had if it was sex instead of a kiss. Then I ask them to imagine they've done that to a number of people. Jaws usually drop to the floor; they realise that they really don't like this kind of behaviour.

This is where I wrap things up:

Somewhere out there - if you believe you'll be married one day - is the man or woman of your dreams; the person whose name God has written on your heart, the "one" whom you'll love for the length of your life. So when you ask, "how far is too far?" consider this: if you don't like the idea of your true love acting risqué,  immodestly or indecently with someone or any other number of other people, then is it okay for you to be doing the same thing? Believe it or not, you are someone's "one"; you are someone's dream man/woman. So it's not only about having a high regard and expectations of the person you'd like to marry some day, but it's also about having a high regard and expectations of yourself.

Treat yourself and others with dignity and respect.

Boys, treat girls and women as true daughters of God; princesses and heirs to the heavenly kingdom. Treat them as the heavenly Father would want them to be treated.

Girls, treat boys and men as true sons of God; princes and heirs to the heavenly kingdom. Treat them as the heavenly Father would want them to be treated.

"Shun immorality. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20



  1. “True love waits.”—This is one thing that everybody should learn and bring to life. I’m so glad that I found your blog, Stephen. It is very enlightening, and can be a use as a guideline for our teens. The teenage year is the period where the youth become very curious about their environment. And this is the time that we should be very sensible about their feelings.

    Cameron Silva

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Cameron. I'm pleased you find my blog helpful.

      God bless you.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.